I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
