Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
