i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize