we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize