You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
