This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
