Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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