Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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