Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
