it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
She's just so happy...and so naked.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
be right there i have to get my cape
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
