You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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