Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
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