do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
i need some magic done to my vagina
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
