Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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