know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
there is glitter all over my balls
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