When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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