Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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