When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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