So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
