He asked me if I "almost moaned"
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Randomize
