Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
