i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
