was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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