Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
