i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
