i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
