I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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