Already got asked if we're dating
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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