soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
