I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
