we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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