worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
