I'm really into asian looking animals
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
