I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
