So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Randomize
