Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
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