How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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