Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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