D3 body, D1 cock
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
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