am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
