fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I've blown a few things in my day
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
