She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
