He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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