I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
