i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
