I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Randomize