They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
