remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
