I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
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