dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
