no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
