ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
