I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
