I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
