I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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