$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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