your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
