I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I think a kid would responsible me up
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Randomize
