He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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