This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
