he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
