You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
