I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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