I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
