So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize