Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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