Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize