Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
