we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Randomize
