How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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