i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
